Engagements are a wonderful whirlwind. There is the excitement of telling everyone your good news, there are parties and there is fun of wedding planning. However, the engagement period is also the moment when you should think long and hard about whether you truly are ready for marriage.
To that end, below are some questions you should
consider before tying the knot. Be honest with yourself. The decision to get
married is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life.
This decision does not only affect you but your potential spouse, your family
and probably your children along the line. Without giving this decision a
second thought, you are doing a disservice to all those people and yourself!
1. AM I WILLING TO MAKE A HAPPY MARRIAGE MY TOP PRIORITY?
Anybody can get married. It does
not take a lot of muscles to go to the alter or the City Hall and sign legal
document committing yourself to another human being. However, not everyone can
be happily married. Happily, married couple
adores and value their marriage about all other things. They put their
relationship up a pedestal and cherish it. Then they boast about their marriage
the same way that some people boast about their football team or the Maserati
or their 4,000 sq. ft house. However, let us bring this to reality. Happily
married couples deserve to brag. This is because they are accomplishing
something that most people fail to. Happily married people are those few people
are willing to break all boundaries and barriers to put the success of their
marriage before their professional ambitions and personal interests. The reward
for these folks is that every night they have to go home to someone who loves
them completely and who gives them their undying loyalty. If you are not
willing to do whatever it takes to be happily married, then sincerely speaking
why the need to marry at all??
2. 2. WOULD
YOU MARRY THIS PERSON IF???
Before you get married, make sure
that you are making a commitment to a person and not a lifestyle or event. Ask
yourself: “Would I marry this person marry this person if there was no wedding, no
fancy dress, no engagement party…blah…blah…blah?” wedding have nothing
to do with marriage. A wedding is simply a BIG party. Marriage is created when
two people decide to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives.
It is a special commitment they renew each day. Would you marry a person if you
couldn’t have children? Children are wonderful but they grow up and
before you know it, it’s back to being the two of you. Be sure you would still
want to be with this person when the children leave. Would you marry this person if he
or she weren’t rich or beautiful?
To a certain degree, we all look for a particular package of qualities in a
future spouse. However, realize that the package you are marrying can change.
People all over the world age, and due to global recession people lose their
jobs. Even accidents occur and people end up by doing surgical operation
(plastic surgery), none of us can deny the fact that we can still look like we
are 18years forever. So make sure that you want to marry that person no matter
the situation or circumstance!
3.
3. AM
I SELFISH??
Actually, being selfish is not a
big deal. I mean there is nothing wrong with being selfish. However, if you are
selfish, you need to live alone, don’t inflict yourself on other people, for
sure don’t get married and for the love of the Creator, don’t have children.
there is no room in a practical family life for selfish behavior. Adult
selfishness is subtle. It isn’t merely the failure to share that we learned about in kindergarten. Let’s put it this way.
If you sulk around other people when you are in a bad mood, you are selfish. If
you allow others to clean up your messes, you are selfish. If you think your
bad childhood gives you the right to be irresponsible and have a crummy
attitude, you are selfish and delusional. There is nothing wrong with being
moody, messy, irresponsible and mean, as long as you hide yourself away in your
apartment and don’t interact with other people. Nevertheless, if you want to
get married, you need to give up being selfish or you had better stay single!
4. 3. CAN
I BE SOME ELSE’S CHEERLEADER??
Most of the time, I am amazed at
how stingy people can be with a compliment. Do you suffer from this societal
neurosis? If so, you are going to have to re-think how to operate. Happily
married people both publicly and privately compliment their spouses. They are
quick to tell stories that make their spouses look good, and they are more apt
to tell their spouses what they like about them than what they don’t like about
them. The issue isn’t that people are vain and need constant strokes. The issue
is that people are insecure and they look to their spouses for affirmation. If
you are not willing to give you spouse a positive reinforcement, he or she is
going to look for it from other people and that is the first step down the road
of infidelity!
5.
4. AM
I WILLING TO BE ACCOUNTABLE TO SOMEONE ELSE?
When they say, during a marriage ceremony
that “two become one”, to a certain extent, that is true. When you
get married, you become intimately connected, and as a result, accountable to another
human being. Everything that you do affects your spouse, from how many times a
week you bathe to how you spend money to how moody you are. As a result, you no
longer can do whatever you feel like doing. At all times, you have to consider how
your actions or inactions are going to affect the other person. This
accountability is a burden in many respects, so if you aren’t willing to take
it on, don’t get married.
A good marriage is a wonderful
gift. But having a good marriage requires a great deal of maturity and
selflessness on the part of both spouse before you stroll down the aisle.
Source: Huffingtonpost.com
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